Momma Kate Loveland: Claire Got Her Ears Pierced.

Before Claire was born, I knew that I would be taking my kids to a tattoo/piercing parlor when they wanted their ears pierced. I wanted someone that did that as a career and had extensive training, loved doing it, and has a super clean shop. Unfortunately, Wisconsin law doesn't agree with my parenting desires.

Sunday I was getting ready and picking out earrings and Aoife started talking about it. I explained what getting earring entailed and how exactly they get in and she was on board. Claire was not. We talked a little about it Sunday. Ross said he was a little sad because girls wanting their ears done meant that they were getting bigger and "girlier", which meant closer to boys, and closer to Ross getting replaced. I attempted to reassure Ross that both of these girls are still arguing about who was going to marry Daddy.

Monday morning I did some research. Turns out most shops in Wisconsin won't let minors under 16 in the shop. Not shop rules, State of Wisconsin rules. Devastated. Tuesday, I searched YouTube for a video to show the girls. I found an adorable one where the girl at the end did not cry. I had Aoife come up and watch it with me, Claire was creeping around the corner and then had me play it again so she could get a closer look.

It was magical. She decided right then and there she wanted her ears pierced and she wanted it bad. I texted Ross to see what he thought and if he could sneak away from work. He was in a meeting and didn't respond right away. Claire was on pins and needles.

Claire: What did Daddy say?
Me: Nothing yet. I'm pretty sure he's in a meeting.
Claire: He's in a meeting? Great that means we can go! Let's go! (Heaven help me, I'm going to be in trouble with this girl. Dad's busy? That means YES!)

Me: Nope, I'm pretty sure he'd want to be there, too.
Claire: Oh, well.... Dad can just leave work and escape! (Clearly we're instilling great work ethics and values in this kid.)

Eventually we got a hold of Ross and he was slammed for the day. We settled on Wednesday after Claire was done with school. Enter Wednesday and psycho mom. Aoife decided she no longer wanted her ears pierced, but wants them done for her birthday instead. Before picking up Claire, I decided to take Aoife to scope out the mall. And by scope, I obviously mean grill the shops on sanitation and training.

The first place we stopped at, we had fun checking out the earrings. Then the girl popped up behind the counter and was someone I went to school with. Honestly, did not encourage confidence. The second shop, the girl was halfway hanging out the back door, putting on her make up and wouldn't even talk to me. I was in full mom panic mode. We made our way to our final stop and the gal working at the time was the manager. She gave me the full tour and answered every question. I was still uneasy, but feeling a little more confident.

We picked up Claire and then headed to grab Ross. Claire was super pumped and proudly told Ross that she was going to get two pokes.

When we walked into the shop, the manager was waiting for us and immediately swept Claire away to go talk her through everything. Claire picked out some earrings and climbed up into the seat and chatted away with the girl. She didn't even bring her lamb and only held Ross' hand because I brought it up. She was such a champ all while I was two seconds away from a heart attack. Everything was fine and went great and if they get infected, it will only be because Claire is letting Aoife touch them with dirty fingers.

As we drove to drop Ross off, I realized what a psycho I was and it was exhausting. I need a nap. Pronto. Heaven help my poor husband and three daughters for having me, Captain Lunatic, as their wife and mother.