What Were We Thinking?

Yesterday I started shots to keep this little nugget in and cooking. Which means for my time line, I'm about halfway for when I typically pop. We find out what we're having in 4 weeks, and I suppose it's getting all too real now. Laying in bed last night, I admitted to Ross that I'm terrified to add another to our circus. Some days are great and beautiful and the girls are sweeter than sweet, and other days I'm left wondering what in the world we were thinking.

When the children weren't in bed sleeping.

The first time the girls gave each other hair cuts.

That one time when Aoife wasn't napping and my walls and bedding matched her face.

That one time we potty trained.

When my kid refused to poop. -That reminds, me, I need a follow up appointment because she STILL won't poop.

And then there are hard days like this.

When Claire had to wear a helmet for months on end and go to physical therapy every week.

And when Tiegan needed breathing treatments.

And when I had to leave the hospital without my baby because she had to stay in the NICU for a while.

And then we get blessed with days like these.

And maybe I just don't take pictures of the bad days, but based off of the evidence, it would seem the good days mostly outnumber the bad.

I'm reminded of a quote from Jim Gaffigan, a comedian with 5 kids: “Well, why not? I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life. I believe each of my five children has made me a better man. So I figure I only need another thirty-four kids to be a pretty decent guy."  (Seriously, if you want to know what it's like having kids, look up his work. Or if you have kids and need reassurance that you're not the only one struggling, look up his work.)

I'm still terrified to have four kids, but the days filled with the "little sister to big sister" looks and giggles make the days when my 2 year old bathes herself in applesauce all worth it. And it's reassuring that someone else can do it with one more kid and see the humor in parenthood. 

I'm almost 26, drive a minivan with 3, soon to be 4 car seats, making Costco runs with audio choices of Frozen, Taylor Swift, or "Who can find a dog first?" That is my life. And I guess it's pretty awesome.